Once in a Cobalt Moon

I feel so sad. It's beautiful outside and it just means nothing to me. Too early to start drinking. Probably I should eat. I get sca...

I haven't posted for a long time. 2016 was an interesting year with a lot of changes; some were difficult and others have been good and ...

I can't believe that I've spent so much of my life crying about people who don't care, and neglecting/failing to appreciate the ...

I don't know if a day will ever come when I don't miss you and wish things weren't like this.

I had the dream again. The one where things are better, where it's not weird anymore, where everything makes sense and we acknowledge th...

In many ways, I suppose it could be said that life has improved. I have a level of stability which might exceed anything I've had since...

I am the worthless thing that nobody wants to acknowledge being mixed up with. That's what I think sometimes. I get left behind. Downpl...

I have worthwhile things to say, but am exhausted right now. Will try to post tomorrow.

I'm so fucking sorry all the time, and then I wonder why everyone thinks everything is my fault. :-/

What's it's like to have anxiety. She did such a good job of explaining that....except I would have put some monsters in that rains...

Then there's this thing where people say that they love me, win me over, earn my trust.....and then....they change their minds. My mothe...

I've come to the conclusion that I don't really know how to be loved. I know how to love other people. I know how to cry and griev...

Feeling disenchanted, lonely. Also my head feels spinny, but enough sleep deprivation will do that. Grrr.....

And...got triggered again today. It doesn't take much, but the triggers can be identified. The thing is, it happens so easily. It hurts ...

I would really like it if I could have a relationship in which the other party and I loved one another to the same degree/in the same way. I...

Things are improving. To all of you who have been holding me in the Light, thinking good thoughts for me, thank you. It does help, and I do ...

I don't know if it's going to work. I want it to work. However, I'm not sure that my wanting things to work is adequate. Meanwhi...

What goals do I have for myself, my family, the earth, and life in general? Do my daily actions, thoughts, activites, and associations with...

Feeling brokenhearted. September approaches. Summer is ending, and overall, it's been more or less like I thought it would be. Septembe...

He says that I'm hypersensitive. To some extent, this is true: hypersensitivity is one of the defining characteristics of being on the a...

The following descriptions of meltdowns were written by a variety of people on the autism spectrum. In the interest of protecting privacy, I...

Links to previous posts about meltdowns: Here and also here

Feeling heartsick and very discouraged. I thought things were better. I was so excited to see him. I would not for a minute say that things...

Went back and looked at text communications from almost a year ago. I was struck by the difference in tone as well as the content. I recall ...

That moment when you realize that it doesn't matter....that your feelings, thoughts, whatever are actually pretty irrelevant. :-/

I really, really need a hug right now. :-(

Why teenagers act crazy sometimes is the name of this article, but I found what they had to say abotu the amygdala, anxiety, and the format...

It's really pathetic, but at the most basic level, all I want out of the people I love is to feel that I'm good enough and that they...

I will never understand why people who are blessed with social popularity aren't simply content to bask in the glory of having lots of f...

Exhausted. Here's the deal: when you get a concussion you should not ride on a roller coaster, particularly one with a lot of velocity,...

Feeling disillusioned and fragile, as if my heart were that lacy thin, delicate pattern of osteoporotic bone. I always hope for nice things,...

Started a blog for farm stuff at avellana farm . This is not the official website, but all farm related/animal stuff will be posted there.

thank you.

Feeling lonely. Sad, because I cannot draw anymore. House is all quiet. :-(