Once in a Cobalt Moon

  • Chamoisee
  • I have Asperger's syndrome, a form of autism. However, this isn't an autism blog; I'm tired and bored with people who think they know more about developmental stuff than the guys who diagnosed me. No, it's just a blog full of seemingly aimless and random musing and kvetching and with some luck, a window into the inner workings of an aspie woman's mind.
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Sunday, May 21, 2017

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I feel so sad. It's beautiful outside and it just means nothing to me. Too early to start drinking. Probably I should eat. I get sca...
Friday, January 13, 2017

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I haven't posted for a long time. 2016 was an interesting year with a lot of changes; some were difficult and others have been good and ...
Saturday, April 09, 2016

Enough already.

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I can't believe that I've spent so much of my life crying about people who don't care, and neglecting/failing to appreciate the ...
Friday, February 19, 2016

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I don't know if a day will ever come when I don't miss you and wish things weren't like this.
1 comment:
Friday, January 08, 2016

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I had the dream again. The one where things are better, where it's not weird anymore, where everything makes sense and we acknowledge th...
Wednesday, September 09, 2015

Early morning thoughts

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In many ways, I suppose it could be said that life has improved. I have a level of stability which might exceed anything I've had since...
Saturday, August 29, 2015

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I am the worthless thing that nobody wants to acknowledge being mixed up with. That's what I think sometimes. I get left behind. Downpl...
Wednesday, June 10, 2015

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I have worthwhile things to say, but am exhausted right now. Will try to post tomorrow.
Monday, May 11, 2015

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I'm so fucking sorry all the time, and then I wonder why everyone thinks everything is my fault. :-/
Monday, March 23, 2015

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What's it's like to have anxiety. She did such a good job of explaining that....except I would have put some monsters in that rains...
Friday, December 26, 2014

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Then there's this thing where people say that they love me, win me over, earn my trust.....and then....they change their minds. My mothe...
Saturday, December 06, 2014

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I've come to the conclusion that I don't really know how to be loved. I know how to love other people. I know how to cry and griev...
Monday, October 20, 2014

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Feeling disenchanted, lonely. Also my head feels spinny, but enough sleep deprivation will do that. Grrr.....
Wednesday, October 01, 2014

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And...got triggered again today. It doesn't take much, but the triggers can be identified. The thing is, it happens so easily. It hurts ...

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I would really like it if I could have a relationship in which the other party and I loved one another to the same degree/in the same way. I...
Tuesday, September 02, 2014

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Things are improving. To all of you who have been holding me in the Light, thinking good thoughts for me, thank you. It does help, and I do ...
Saturday, August 23, 2014

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I don't know if it's going to work. I want it to work. However, I'm not sure that my wanting things to work is adequate. Meanwhi...
Wednesday, August 13, 2014

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What goals do I have for myself, my family, the earth, and life in general? Do my daily actions, thoughts, activites, and associations with...
Tuesday, August 12, 2014

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Feeling brokenhearted. September approaches. Summer is ending, and overall, it's been more or less like I thought it would be. Septembe...
Wednesday, August 06, 2014

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He says that I'm hypersensitive. To some extent, this is true: hypersensitivity is one of the defining characteristics of being on the a...
Monday, July 28, 2014

Meltdowns: In Our Own Words

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The following descriptions of meltdowns were written by a variety of people on the autism spectrum. In the interest of protecting privacy, I...
Sunday, July 27, 2014

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Links to previous posts about meltdowns: Here and also here

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Feeling heartsick and very discouraged. I thought things were better. I was so excited to see him. I would not for a minute say that things...

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Went back and looked at text communications from almost a year ago. I was struck by the difference in tone as well as the content. I recall ...
Thursday, July 17, 2014

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That moment when you realize that it doesn't matter....that your feelings, thoughts, whatever are actually pretty irrelevant. :-/
Tuesday, July 08, 2014

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I really, really need a hug right now. :-(
Monday, June 30, 2014

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Why teenagers act crazy sometimes is the name of this article, but I found what they had to say abotu the amygdala, anxiety, and the format...
Tuesday, June 10, 2014

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It's really pathetic, but at the most basic level, all I want out of the people I love is to feel that I'm good enough and that they...
Monday, June 09, 2014

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I will never understand why people who are blessed with social popularity aren't simply content to bask in the glory of having lots of f...
Wednesday, May 28, 2014

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Exhausted. Here's the deal: when you get a concussion you should not ride on a roller coaster, particularly one with a lot of velocity,...
Wednesday, May 07, 2014

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Feeling disillusioned and fragile, as if my heart were that lacy thin, delicate pattern of osteoporotic bone. I always hope for nice things,...
Tuesday, April 22, 2014

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Started a blog for farm stuff at avellana farm . This is not the official website, but all farm related/animal stuff will be posted there.

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thank you.
Sunday, April 20, 2014

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Feeling lonely. Sad, because I cannot draw anymore. House is all quiet. :-(
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chamoisee
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