Tuesday, January 22, 2013

I wish that I knew the right things to say, the right things to do, the right ways to feel and act. This is the hardest part of being aspie; no matter how I may agonize and plan in an attempt to not screw up, I do. Or, I panic with the anxiety of doing or saying the wrong things, melt down, and then I've really fucked things up. I just cannot seem to get it right....

But tell me, friends, not friends, people whose designated category I can't get right either: why are you folks so hard to please, when I'm clearly trying as hard as I can? Why do you make social interactions into a cruel game of riddles and unspoken clues and then shun those of us who fumble at it? Is it so hard to meet someone halfway, when that someone is wearing themself thin trying to speak this difficilt and foreign language?

And how do you manage to be so terribly lovable in spite of acting that way, when I try with all my heart, and am forever the cast off?

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