Not only am I all broken up over a man who doesn't like me as a person or want to associate with me in any way at all, the situation has degenerated to the point where I am afraid to look at him for fear of seeing....disgust? disdain? etc in his eyes. It is idiotic for me to get an anxiety attack from being in the same (LARGE) room he is in.

This is so fucked up it's surreal, and I hate it. I hate it. I never wanted things to be this way. This is the sort of bizarre stuff that does not happen to normal people. And I'm sorry to say it, but I hate the way my life is. Not just now, but as a whole, I hate it.