Pain steals my words away, leaves me mute. I feel so small, so inadequate. I will be silent, slight, barely visible...because it's the closest I can come to saying that I'm sorry I'm here, sorry I'm taking up space, using up time, needing things. I'm sorry. I'll be not here as much as I can. The implosion within, erasing all the good things, leaving only the hurt. There are no easy explanations, even if I had the words. There is only the pain.
As if it matters? It doesn't matter. :-(