Friday, June 07, 2013

Some situations just are not easy and have no simple, immediate solutions. The fact of the matter is that the level of PTSD, trauma and other issues that I have makes it nearly impossible not to trigger me, or for me not to get triggered. It seems inevitable. It probably seems like I'm just not trying hard enough to get a grip and cope with life.

But from my perspective, the absolute worst part of all this is that getting triggered tends to cause more traumatic shit to happen, creates more triggers to trip over. It has become a self-perpetuating private hell. Private? That's not true: it affects everyone around me, everyone who has to interact with me. It's so unfair, in all directions. Every person I love, every person I get close to, has to deal with this shit, gets stressed by it. I cannot help hurting those I love, in the most inadvertent way, and frankly, that makes me feel like shit. :-(

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