Went and looked at (counting...) five apartments today, and inquired about a number of others. The five I looked at are al owned by the same guy. I've met this man before, he's seems decent enough. I think he's a mormon. All the places were really nice. The most appealing one is about to have a lease signed on it, the most affordable one is way too small, the others are OK. The one I liked second best is expensive, I'd just about need a rommate to rent it with.

The apartment policies crack me up. A sampling: Profane, obscene, loud or boisterous language or unseemly behavior and conduct, is absolutely prohibited, and tenant obligates himself, and those under him, not to do or permit anything that will annoy, harass, embarrass,or inconvenience any of the other tenants or occupants in the subject or adjoining premises.

• Profane- does this mean I can't say 'God is dead' or somesuch? It must, because swearing is covered next.
• Obscene- assuming it isn't loud and noone can hear me, why not? It is going to hurt anyone if I sit quietly cussing while I'm on the computer?
• Loud- OK, I can see that.
• Boisterous- is this different from loud? How?
• Unseemly behavior and conduct- I'm not sure I want to know what's covered by this....
• Absolutely Prohibited- Wow.
• Tenant obligates himself- Oh, wait.. That doesn't include me, then. ;-)
• annoy- what if the other tenant is easily annoyed by perfectly ordinary and unobtrusive behavior?
• Harass- I can see that..
• Embarrass-Like walking around the apartment in the nude? Or would that be unseemly behavior? Maybe this means you have to be silent if you have sex? Huh.
• inconvenience- This is reasonable.

All in all though, I think some of the rules violate freedom of speech and possibly religion. I'm still scratching my head over what would embarrass the other tenants...

Landlord has the right to immediately remove combustible material from the premises. Say what??

Now, understand me here. It isn't that I would go right out and break all the rules just for the sake of being perverse, though it's tempting when there are so many rules. I always like to read the rules wherever I go and see what all is prohibited so that I'll know what I'm getting into. These rules are lenient compared to those at a homeless shelter, where you cannot even kiss, hug, or hold hands unless you've got a signed marriage license. Also generally outlawed- eating your own food. If whatever they give you at the communal meals isn't enough or you can't eat it, tough luck. In fact, you're not even allowed to have your own food in your backpack, but I always did. I couldn't very well get rid of it knowing I'd be back on the streets in a day or two.

Why am I talking about homelessness again? I guess because my position at this point is tenous. The prospect of falling on hard times and possibly ending up on the streets scares the hell out of me. I'll do my damnedest to make sure that doesn't happen, and it shouldn't, but it's sort of the same uneasy, anxious feeling I get when the fridge and cupboards start to look empty. The strange thing is that I don't even have an appetite to speak of anymore. It's typical for me not to eat much of anything until 3-4 PM, at which point I'll have something small, and then dinner a few hours later. If I didn't get shaky and lightheaded about that time, chances are I'd skip out on eating at all. Yet if the food gets low I start to panic and given the opportunity, would probably stockpile food. Weird.