It just isn't a very good day. Got a lot done at the house, and then the muffler tried to fall off. Wait. This didn't start today, this started yesterday. Yes. It did...trying to remember or try to put a finger on why. Huh. Not able to articulate why that depressed me, it just did. I hate large public gatherings that highlight the broken places, the rooms within held empty and sacred and locked against anyone else. The awareness that I am a nameless thing: not a lover, not a friend, not an acquaintance, just a nothing with a presence overly large, overly present and obnoxious without ever meaning to be. The bitterness of being this thing hollows me out, renders me silent and desolate. There is no complaint I can make....and silence is the only gift I can give.