I hurt. I hurt so much that my stomach feels like I've been crocheting guts instead of yarn. No, I don't want to talk about it. I'm so tired of pain. I'm so tired of struggling to find a path through this that makes sense. It's dark, cold and thorny here and I hope that someday the sun will come up again, if I'm very, very patient....but there's no real reason to believe that it will.