I'm not certain that thumbing my nose at them and going my own way in life, despite their warnings, was the smartest thing to do. I was questioning the little social rules and complexities from early childhood, was always different. Sometimes it occurs to me that I should turn around and make my way, very arduously at this point, down a path more closely aligned with those values and rules. Maybe I could redeem myself in their eyes. Maybe I could get to a point where they wouldn't be embarrassed of me anymore. Maybe I could be one of them again and feel respectable. The thing of it is, there was so little love and warmth in that childhood, which is most of why I rejected that lifestyle. I had decided that happiness and love, creativity and acceptance, were more important than money, social status, and conformity. I'm not sure why I decided that those things were incompatible, why I thought that ditching success as a goal would bring me a happier personal life.
(more is forthcoming but need time to think)