Sunday, September 23, 2012

I am beginning to think/feel/perceive that I have found true compatibility. I don't have to try to be good enough. I don't have to wear myself out with anxiety (although this is proving to be a difficult habit to break). I don't have to earn/deserve his affection. There's no struggle to try to contort myself into some pretzel of what I'm "supposed to be", "like other women". I just have to be myself and try to relax for a change. It's such a relief. It's hard to believe.

I would never expect him to try to earn/deserve me; after all, if the person you are seeing isn't to your liking, there isn't any point in trying to make them pretend to be what they aren't. I am not the sort of woman who believes in "fixing", "changing" or "training" a man. If I don't like the way someone is, if the essence of who they are isn't conducive to happiness with my true self, then really, what is the point? Why torment someone that way? Let them go to find someone who's a better fit. Yet, it is still very surprising that for once, I really do seem to be good enough. He asks that I be real, genuine. Ah: this is not difficult for an aspie girl to do!

The cynic in me is cautiously optimistic, lol.

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