Monday, January 15, 2007

Broken Children
I am sitting here crying. I've been looking at pictures and descriptions of children available for adoption.

I looked at the Asian children first, because if I were actually going to adopt, I'd probably want to get an Asian girl. Most of the listed Asian kids were born with birth defects or are disabled in some way. :( The one that started the tears was a beautiful little boy about 5 years old. Well, he was beautiful to me, even with the huge red birthmark covering almost the entire left side of his face. He's Chinese, so I guess since they only get to have one child there, it has to be 100% perfect, right down to not having any birthmarks. Then there was another from China, a little 2 year old boy with a nicely repaired cleft lip and palate. The expression on his face looked wounded and rejected...already. Heart defects, disabilities, etc etc.

There were only 3 African kids listed, all older and all very beautiful.

American children: this is where it got really hard. Many of them have Asperger's syndrome, just like me. I would love to take one of these kids home, but I can't: travis

"Travis says he would like an adoptive family that would enjoy playing board games and card games with him and he hopes his new family will have other children.

The ideal family for Travis will be experienced in parenting and knowledgeable about behavioral issues and Asperger’s syndrome. This could be a couple or a strong single male. Travis should be the only child in the family or he must be the youngest as he will need 24-hour supervision. The family should be very structured, able to commit fully to Travis and be understanding of his mental health and social skill needs."

Anytime you read about an adoption for an aspie kid, it will say that, even if the kid is 17 years old. He/she has to be either the youngest kid with a much older sibling, or an only child. It's as though they think that aspies cannot grow up with younger siblings, or siblings close to our own age! People, people!!!! ::chamoisee bangs her head against the computer desk:: Where in the HELL do you think we finally DO learn our social skills from??? Insulating us from siblings is NOT the ideal way to develop our social skills, DUH! That poor kid, he actually says that he wants a family with other kids, and the workers will make sure he doesn't get it.

I ask you, how many adoptive parents, given the choice of only one child, an aspie, to adopt, or another child with the option of possibly getting a brother or sister or adding him or her to an already existinbg family, is going to choose the aspie?! These poor kids are going to stay in foster care because of this absolutely demented idea that we aspies "cannot handle" the stress of competing with brothers or sisters.

Our siblings are often our best friends. What a disservice...what a cruelty, to deny these kids not only that but also a potential home for that reason.

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