Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Exhausted. Here's the deal: when you get a concussion you should not ride on a roller coaster, particularly one with a lot of velocity, centrifugal force, and sudden changes in direction. Also, one should take care not to bump their head again. One should attempt to sleep much, eat regularly, avoid stress and strike a balance between sufficient rest and resuming normal life.

If you disregard this stuff, your brain relapses to an earlier stage in the recovery process, setting hard won progress back.

I do not feel good. Just getting through the day is consuming all the strength I have. And for whatever reason, I would never have suspected that the roller coaster might not be a good idea. :-(

Wednesday, May 07, 2014

Feeling disillusioned and fragile, as if my heart were that lacy thin, delicate pattern of osteoporotic bone. I always hope for nice things, good things, for things to actually work out for a change...but I always expect the worst, that there was some misunderstanding and that nice thing is not really going to happen. And sure enough. You would think that since it was expected anyway, it wouldn't be upsetting....but it is. I always kick myself around the block for being stupid enough to have hoped for anything different. He says that I "awfulize". There's truth in that, but what he doesn't seem to see is that expecting the worst and bracing for it is a protective mechanism. Imagine, if I honestly thought everything I hoped for was really going to happen, how crushed I'd be? Been There. Done That.