Time is an illusion. It comes, it goes, it flows....and always, I swim upstream.
You, with your sweet, blue, blue eyes. It seems so wrong, so perverse, that life forces us to live and act as though we were enemies. If we never speak again, still my salmon heart swims in the same direction as long as it beats.
Alas.....
I ordered 25 more chicks. These are Spangled Russian Orloffs. More can be seen about them at this link. I had intially wante dChanteclers, but the hatchery doesn't have any right now, I would like to get the chickens now so that they can be mixed with the others more easily, and also, I'd like for them to be laying by spring. Also, the Chanteclers are over $6 each and are extremely limited in availability, whereas these are only $4.00 each and I can order 25 of them rather than 10 or 15. This matter, because you have to have at least 25 chicks in a box in order to mail them- otherwise they get cold and die while being shipped, because there aren't enough chicks to keep one another warm. I wanted a rare breed that is very hardy, gentle and calm, and the Orloffs fit this just as well as the Chanteclers do. I also like their unique head and colorful pattern, whereas with the Chanteclers, I would have gotten the plain white ones..... At any rate, these chicks will arrive around Sept 18th.
The first batch of chicks is a month old now, or close to it, and just got moved out to the chicken coop. I don't have any recent pictures....will upload and post some later.
I spent most of last weekend getting goats! I ended up buying two does from Olentangy Alpines. One of them, Arget (her registered name is Tegra), is a grand champion, and older doe and a good milker. She has a wonderfully gentle, calm personality, a real pleasure to work with. The other one, a kid, is a cute little grand-daughter of the famous Sodium Oaks Sasin. I feel quite lucky to have had the opportunity to acquire these two. I've had animals from Mark Baden before, and they were of excellent quality, and had nice dispositions. The other two, a buck and another doeling, are from Great Adventure Farm. The buck is massive, just huge! Despite his size and powerful appearance, he's meek, mild mannered and has a tiny little voice. It's kind of endearing. The doeling, Fan-C Free, is friendly and pleasant, a nice little doe linebred on Redwood Hills Jaeger. Now I need to track down my nitrogen tank and see about getting into artificial insemination again.....
Sometimes it seems like everyone wants something out of me, not things I can do, but things out of my soul, my heart...and right now there isn't a lot to spare; it's all being expended on homeostasis. They get mad at me when I don't have it to give, throwing me further out of balance, taking more time to regain equilbrium. It's difficult.
And people wonder why I love my boyfriend, they question whether we're just "friends with benefits", because we don't see one another as often, because life gets in the way. But here's the thing: he loves me regardless of the many sub-optimal conditions I'm often in. There's never any pressure. He's held me and kept me alive countless nights when I was aching over bad situations that probably will never be resolved. And through all of this, he doesn't demand or expect anything of me, he's just there, my friend, my patient, tolerant lover.
But sometimes, I still feel so fragile....
It does seem to me that there are a lot of alternatives that would be much less awkward/triggery...but...not my choice.
My baby chicks arrive- in the mail- tomorrow! Yay! I ordered the super assortment, from a company that specializes in rare breeds, so no idea what I'll get. Can't wait, but I hope most of them are alive.....
