Thursday, August 29, 2013

I am finally feeling OK again. Now, for the delicate balancing act of staying this way....

Sometimes it seems like everyone wants something out of me, not things I can do, but things out of my soul, my heart...and right now there isn't a lot to spare; it's all being expended on homeostasis. They get mad at me when I don't have it to give, throwing me further out of balance, taking more time to regain equilbrium. It's difficult.

And people wonder why I love my boyfriend, they question whether we're just "friends with benefits", because we don't see one another as often, because life gets in the way. But here's the thing: he loves me regardless of the many sub-optimal conditions I'm often in. There's never any pressure. He's held me and kept me alive countless nights when I was aching over bad situations that probably will never be resolved. And through all of this, he doesn't demand or expect anything of me, he's just there, my friend, my patient, tolerant lover.

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