I don't know how to classify this or define it. What do you call it when friends you've had for years turn cold and congealed at the very sight of you for no good reason? I haven't wronged them; in fact, I see them only infrequently, and one of them I hadn't seen for months until just a few days ago.

I think it's my haircut.

The plan was to get it buzzed right down to my scalp with just enough length left to show that I'm not bald. That's what I wanted. But when my SO heard of my impending haircut, he begged me not to cut it too short. So instead, I had her use that awful, practically unbearable razor-comb (the sensation and sound of it drives me nuts!) over the top and to leave it about an inch long. The sides and backs got clippered short, none of it as short as my original plan. He still freaked when I came home...

Since the haircut, several people have called me "dude", "sir", or have used other indications that they are not positive of my gender but they think I'm male. I suppose this should upset me, but instead I find it amusing. A lot of other people, especially women, squint their eyes and look at me with a very unpleasant expression...hate? suspicion? loathing? It's clear that they think I'm a dike. This amuses me, too; except, now I have just the faintest taste of what life must be like for people who actually are gay. I knew our area had a lot of homophobes- I just didn't know how many there were. Oh well. I don't need them anyway.

But it really stings to be treated that way by people that you like and have been friends with for years. I have to keep revising the files in my mind, transferring people that I thought were my friends into the "Aquaintances- you goofed, they weren't friends after all" file.