Nah, I don't lack empathy, I'm just highly selective. With someone I care about, seeing them hurt will freak me out (although most of the time, I'm able to handle the situation and then fall apart later) whereas with other people, it's not that I'm happy they're hurt or that I don't care, but I either intellectualize the event (thinking about physiological details) or feel uncomfortable (a girl having cramps or a guy crying because he's in serous pain). So I think that I could be a decent phlebotomist. The question is, is that all I want to be? And the answer, of course, is no, but it'll have to do for now.

These grunt jobs are all about memorization of routine and minimal applied thought. Thinking too hard gets you in trouble. So although they're nice to me, the pay is a little better (debatable, since I might have gotten a raise by summer, had I stayed at the store), the benefits are good, etc etc, I think that ultimately, it isn't a position which I'll be happy maintaining for a long time. Stair step, yes. Resting place, no.

I still feel sad about not working at the store. I had seen enough to know that none of us mean anything, but having it hit home and happen to you is quite a blow, and I apparently had a lot of emotional investment in the place. The whole discrimination issue still gets my goat, it was wrong in every sense of the word, but I don't have the heart to fight it. What irks me the most is that my Asperger's syndrome was not the reason I couldn't work in the bakery, and I knew it. It was an excuse. The real reason was plain and simple, self interest; I would have felt better if they'd just come out and said so instead of making a personal slight out of it.

It's so crazy, because the biggest issue that I did have with that bakery was the amount of lifting. It killed my hips, but I was willing to do it because I loved the work. So it's ironic that the two full time bakery workers have both had foot injuries (which would interfere with lifting things quickly and moving around rapidly).

No, the real reason was that I was becoming too much of a pain, too much of a threat. I wouldn't shut up about things like sanitation and customer service and safety. Those issues couldn't be countered easily, so they just ran me off instead. I wonder how many other workers will have to leave, how long it'll go on, before the underlying problems become apparent, and if, even then, they'll actually be dealt with.

Anyhoo, it was a blessing in disguise. I needed to do something else with my life, but I felt like it'd be disloyal to leave. Now I can look around for that new direction, whatever it is. If I lived closer to Spokane, I'd go apply at White's boots.