I am beginning to realize that I would much rather be alone than to go through more pain....



And yet....should the fear of failure rule my life?




What do I do with that crippling feeling, the one that makes me freeze up with terror the instant feelings start stirring around in me?



Why do I tell myself that it's OK for other people to be expressive, to cry, to laugh, but I have to be stone-faced? When did I start believing this? That if I didn't cry I wouldn't hurt as much, that I'd be stronger than other women?





I'm so scared sometimes.