Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I am beginning to realize that I would much rather be alone than to go through more pain....

And yet....should the fear of failure rule my life?

What do I do with that crippling feeling, the one that makes me freeze up with terror the instant feelings start stirring around in me?

Why do I tell myself that it's OK for other people to be expressive, to cry, to laugh, but I have to be stone-faced? When did I start believing this? That if I didn't cry I wouldn't hurt as much, that I'd be stronger than other women?

I'm so scared sometimes.

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