Yesterday.....

Sigh....I really struggle with this....with feeling judged and defensive and misunderstood. Most of the people who interact with me in any sort of depth at all acknowledge that I'm depressed. What they don't seem to comprehend is that I cannot simply choose to snap out of it. I think they're confusing tripping over a crack in a sidewalk with falling into a smelly manhole that lacks a ladder to climb back out of. As though I would choose to be in this humiliating condition...what the hell are they thinking? Why does our society have such a pervasive tendency to view any sort of misfortune as being deserved or as evidence of character flaws and poor choices.

And, OK, so there we go: "poor choices". You know, I didn't expect to fall for you, and maybe it was a choice, maybe it wasn't...but I just can't bring myself to regret feeling the way I did and still do for you. The situation is unfortunate, painful, awkward, hopeless, yes....but love is never wrong, and love is never a poor choice. Yeah, there you have it- the diehard cynic is a hopeless romantic in disguise. :-/

Oh, and stubborn, too....