I want to paint or draw....but I cannot come up with a picture to express the way I feel. I try: an image rolls through. Nah....not emphatic enough, not dark enough, not enough contrast there...too blah too soft too bland and half hearted too dull too.....too inadequate. They're all like that, if I can conjure anything at all.

OK wait....that might work. I can try. There is a painting on the wall upstairs that says it...sweeter, keener. It is the only painting that I have _never_ever gotten a comment or compliment on by anyone. They don't understand it. What I want to do now is darker, emptier, more spare bare boned, less bright.... Yeah. I'll give it a whirl. I kind of wish I could post the pictures here.

Need to get a digital camera.