Monday, June 14, 2004

I am really really depressed.....I think I'm an Aspie (a person with Aspberger's syndrome). I mean, in a way this is kind of a relief- it totally explains why I'm the way I am, and frankly I'm sick and tired of trying to go against the grain of my personality merely to fit in, and I've felt 'weird' my entire life- but on the other hand it feels like a sort of death's pretty typical for Aspies to have a very hard time forming relationships, even friendships, beyond an aquaintanceship level. People with Asperger's have a very hard/near impossible time with 'reading' or misreading so-called normal people (among other things)...and this definitely seems to be a HUGE issue with me.

All I've ever wanted my entire life (other than being an artist) is to have *ONE* really close friend who'd understand me. I don't think it's ever going to happen. I've been alone my entire life and it looks like I always will be. :-( I don't know if that sort of a life is worth living.

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