Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Replay of yesterday, except that I spent more time cleaning and the hosue isn't totally trashed (yet). The kitchen area actually looks OK. to say it......sometimes I feel like such a fool. I hate being vulnerable, but am realizing that you can't open yourself up to happiness if you aren't willing to take the risk of the pain. And do I want to feel numb and cold and robotic again? No, I do not. Instead I feel as tender as a newly opened blossom in the face of an impending hail storm, hoping to goodness that that hail is going to fall somewhere else. And I've got this bitchy little know it all weatherman who keeps blathering on about the fucking hailstorm headed my way, and I just want him to shut UP already!!!

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