Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Damn. I just realized that I posted an almost identical list back in September. Embarrassing. In a way, perhaps it's instructive- I want what I want to write it down twice...and essentially the same things, too.
Last night I dreamt (among other things) that a lady walked up to me and gave me money, over $1,000, and I was so happy that I was just about in tears....because it would be enough for a first, last, and deposit on a place. How's that for an immature and childish solution- a stranger just walking up and saying, I know you need this, here it is. I'm not very happy with the lack of initiative revealed by that dream. On the other hand, the main impediment appears to be $. Sometimes I think I'd sell my soul if I could. There are the goats. If I could get a decent price, there might be enough of them, if I could bring myself to do it. Maybe it'd be worth it? :-( Not a pleasant choice. Not an easy one. OK, what if I kept just a very small core of the animals who were absolutely essential to the breeding program, like 4-8 of them, no more. That would still leave about 12 to sell. Assuming they go for between $75 and $200 each (depressingly low in a few cases), that *might* do it. This is not something I enjoy considering. But if I keep them, they'll be an expense. ::sigh:: Well, it's a thought to roll around for the day.

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