It occurred to me today that I don't really have much fun anymore. I don't know why exactly that is, except perhaps that I never have any free time to speak of. But even when I do have time, it's like it just doesn't even occur to me anymore to do something for sheer enjoyment, for its own sake.

And in reality, it's the same thing with my art- I feel guilty if I I'm not working or doing something *necessary* to our survival, and (let's be honest) resentful when other people in the household do do things just for fun, especially if I feel like I'm picking up their slack.

So: Places I'd like to go and things I'd like to see

---

• The Pacific coast. I want to go beach combing there. I've never seen the pacific ocean, not even from a distance.
• Upper Priest Lake, another place I haven't been to, even though I'm within an hour of it. Several of my kids have been there, I always got left behind at home. :-( I want to see it, to hike it, to climb...
• Canada, another nearby place I've never been to. I have no idea what to expect, I'd just like to see it.
• If I had the chance and lots of money someday, I wouldn't mind going to Hawaii. On the other hand though, it wouldn't break my heart all to pieces if I couldn't.
• I'd like to visit botanical gardens and art museums in the area.
• Art on the Green in Couer d'Alene; again, this is less than an hour away, I'd love to see it, but I haven't. Why? Mainly because I don't want to go all by myself. I don't think it even costs any money.
• The college in Couer d'Alene, same reason, I'm afraid to go alone. Chicken...
• I wouldn't mind going back down to Colorado, the Taos area, and sightseeing around there. I'd like to see in person the things that Georgia O'Keefe painted, and to see her work in person.
• Chicago- The Art Institute. Of coure, there are a lot of other great msueums I'd also like to visit. I could spend a week or two just going to the museums in Chicago alone and be awfully happy about it.
• I also think it'd be neat to see the MOMA, the Met, and other big art museums in New York, but this isn't likely to happen. That makes me sad.
• Locally again, Gisborn mountain.
  

See, half these places are nearby, and I either don't go to them or never have simply because I'm disinclined to do so all by myself or with a whole crew of kids. I guess I'm waiting until I get old and my hips have crapped out on me entirely? If I don't do something, I'll never see these things at all.