Monday, July 17, 2006

Ok folks, I need opinions. Please, PLEASE, stop by my bio-blog and let me know what you think of it, if I'm leaving anything out that might not seem missing to me but is necessary, needs more detail, that sort of thing? The url is: This is what happened

I felt all broken up and sad today, like crying, and I couldn't even put my finger on why. I mean, I'm sure that I coudl select somethign sad and heartbreaking from my past to focus on as a source of the pain, but that wouldn't have been it, it was just sort this hazy oppressive thing without defined edges. I think that when I stop nursing the baby and start to take the St. John's wort again, I'll feel happier more of the time.

And God help us all if I don't get my coffee, on time......geez.

I know I am a bitch, and I hate it, but damned if I can help it.

There is this girl at work who is driving me nuts, and I know she's even more depressed than I am, but the annoying thing is that she just drips. She doesn't really make any attempt to pull herself together and start changing things, or to summon some inner strength or initiative. When she's around, I start feeling impatient and bitchy, because I don't want to succumb to the same sort of despair, which is contagious. There are some pretty obvious things that could be done which would dramatically improve her situation, but she doesn't want to hear about them. Instead, she just mopes around feeling envious of how "lucky" the rest of us are(!!!).

That was bad enough, but then she started using it as an excuse for eating the food we're supposed to be selling. Look, I've been hungry before too, but you simply cannot consume the product, and especially not out in the open. The anxiety of worrying over her getting abruptly fired on the spot is eating me alive, and besides, it bugs me to see her going about hand to mouth constantly. I tried to tell her, she wouldn't listen. So today I had had enough, and asked a manager about it, and she got a lot more worked up about it a lot faster than I had ever imagined she would. She wanted me to narc on the girl so we could fire her pronto. Made me everlastingly glad that I don't munch the food (shudder). She marched me straight to the big boss...I don't think they were happy that I declined to ofer the information. The people in the deli are going to hate me that I said anything at all...I had no idea...I mean, I knew it was a no-no, but I did not realize it was a BIG FUCKING DEAL that should be reported pronto. So everyone hates me now....great.

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