Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Planted a fraction of the winter squash seeds, along with summer squash, corn, sunflowers, jerusalem artichokes, dry beans (two native american varieties, both rare and ancient), lots of nasturtiums, tomatillos.... Going through the winter squash seeds is emotionally hard on me. Having at long last recovered the varieties originally from Daniel Haugen, which i had spent years breeding and selecting, these were what I planted first. The seed is over ten years old; whether any of it grows or not is uncertain, but i have to try. He has been dead for 17 years, and I haven't been the same since. Every broken relationship, every love lost, just seems to hammer the same painful message into my heart: hope is dead and there's no bringing it back or finding it anywhere else.

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