I enjoyed 'things given' enough to go back to fray.com and look around some more. This time I read this one. Read it and see what you think. Frankly, I think the girl is beating herself up unnecessarily. She helped the guy, she wanted to be compassionate, but for some indefinable reason, she felt uncomfortable about taking the interactions any further. Why? She feels she was selfish. Yet, Andrew kept taking liberties with her, trying to touch her, acting a little too intimate, wanting to put her in uncomfortable, compromising situations. This isn't about a handicapped person needing help and being neglected, it's about a man trying to use guilt to manipulate the girl into intimacies she doesn't want to give.

Cut the wheelchair and disability out of it, and the picture becomes all too familiar, even redundant. The man may be young or older, weak or strong, ugly or handsome, poor or well off, disabled or perfectly healthy. It may be a father, husband, brother, teacher, pastor, friend, or a stranger. One they have in common- they see a woman more as a *thing* or an object, than a person with the right not to want them. In their eyes, the woman has an obligation to satisfy their needs. I have my doubts regarding whether those needs can truly be met by an unwilling but cooperative (or uncooperative) partner- it seems that true intimacy must be given freely and willingly, and forced intimacy would be distinctly unsatisfying. Maybe that's why some of them try to talk themselves into believing that the woman/girl "really wanted it" but was too passive to say so, or that she didn't really mean it when she refused them, or that her silence meant 'yes'. I have some more thoughts on this subject, but I need to incubate them a while longer...