Sunday, September 21, 2003

Well, I don't know what was up with that. All I can figure is that maybe it was my heart playing tricks on me again. (No, not that one; I mean the physical, muscular organ located in the thoraic cavity. The only thing I've ever understood about the other one is that it's very stubborn, loves to find new ways to humiliate me, and resistance is futile.) The cardiac organ gave me some trouble during and after my last pregnancy, but I thought it'd calmed down. Whatever. It's fine today.

I was reading a book where they ask you to find the common denominators between the people you've been in love with. I had a really hard time finding any. About all I could come up with was intelligence, eyebrows, and gentleness. Eyes and hands are nice, but I can't really draw any definite preferences; blue, green, brown, strong square hands or long attenuated ones. All that seems to matter is that the eyes be intelligent and well framed with expressive eyebrows and that the hands be gentle! Oh and smell: scent is a *must*. But it's such an ineffable quality. The book's premise seemed to be that loving someone is a disastrous state of affairs that should be avoided, and I'm not sure that I agree with that. It definitely takes one past the comfort zone at light speed, but isn't life all about pushing boundaries and reaching new discoveries and conclusions? Doesn't taking the safe route lead ever more to stagnation and inertia? I can't see any point in living a safe, predictable life where nothing new or interesting ever happens.

I guess that's been part of the problem with things here. There must be more to life than just schhlepping through it day after day, never really having a deep or meaningful interaction, just dealing with one dirty diaper or non-functional homestead component after another. Even if everything worked, simulataneously, it'd still be boring as hell, and lonelier.

On that note, my deep and meaningful task of the day is to go to the laundromat and get back in time to meet the goat buyer. *nirg*

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