You know what, I love modeling, I mean really love it, because for whatever reason, the dissociative stuff goes away for a few days and I feel deeply, intensely alive and in my body...but I cannot make a living from it. I cannot even barely squeak by on it unless I get a LOT of jobs together. It would take at least 4, 2 hour jobs per month. You wouldn't think it would be hard to scare up 8 hours of modeling work per month, but it really and truly is.

The blueberry farm is done until spring.

I need to find a different job, part time. And so, I find myself reapplying to a former employer. I was pretty unhappy with them the last time, but I've heard that they have improved. We'll see. It cannot hurt to try.