I guess that I am a broken chamoisee now.



Well, I thought it was funny. In a sick sort of way.

Image is from Waiilatpu Alpines, a fine herd of Alpine dairy goats that I highly recommend if you are looking for breeding stock.

I am trying hard to finish the other blog this weekend. Yep, that's right. It is that close to being done. Then I will reformat it so that it is ordered from beginning to end, and I will go back and edit and refine each post.

If it weren't for the fact that I lack a uterus now, I'd think I was hysterical! Hahahahaha....

Ok, look, that was supposed to be funny. :-P

Something doesn't add up. :-?

Well, shit. I am at the SUB at NIC and just realized that most of the edible food they sell has gluten. Now what? NOte to self--> eat breakfast next time.

cat stevens Wild World

It is so strange feeling to send my son flying away. Good luck, Kleber....make me proud, man.

I need to sleep...but I'm all keyed up.

Food Inventory: Herbs and Spices

• Star Anise
  
• Peppermint
  
• Dried Bird chile peppers
  
• Dried Cascabel chile peppers
  
• Dried Ancho chile peppers
  
• Dried Pasilla peppers
  
• Madras Curry powder
  
• Tumeric, ground
  
• Saigon Cinnamon (the only kind I will buy)
  
• Cumin, ground
  
• Coriander, ground
  
• Herbs de Provence
  
• Whole peppercorn
  
• Black Pepper, ground
  
• Basil
  
• Moroccan seasoning (whatever the heck that is)
  
• Shanghai seasoning (see above)
  
• Oregano
  
• Vanilla beans, whole
  
• Vanilla extract
  
• Paprika
  
• Rosemary
  
• Thyme
  
• Chili powder
  
• Cloves, whole
  
• Mullein
  
• Rose hips
  
• Valerian
  
• Cayenne pepper
  
• Lemon peel, dried
  
• Tamarind
  
• Garlic (fresh)
  
• Ginger (fresh...well, sort of)
  
• Celtic sea salt
  
• Plain salt
  
• Mulling spice
  
• Nutmeg, whole
  
• Dill weed
  
• Bay leaves
  

I think that is most of it. May have missed some.

More Food Inventory: Condiments and sweeteners

• Organic dark brown sugar
  
• Organic brown sugar (it was reduced)
  
• Organic agave nectar (the last of it, not to be replenished)
  
• Organic sucanat
  
• Honey- locally produced
  
• Bragg's Organic raw apple cider vinegar
  
• Balsamic vinegar
  
• Rice vinegar
  
• Crystal hot sauce
  
• green curry sauce
  
• Silver Swan soy sauce
  
• A.1. Steak sauce (mine)
  
• Bull's Eye steak sauce (the boys)
  
• Thai peanut sauce
  
• Spicy Hunan smokehut hibachi grill sauce (what the hell is that for?)
  
• Spicy brown mustard
  
• Dusseldorf mustard
  
• Sweet-hot mustard
  
• Spicy peanut sauce
  
• Sesame oil
  

I have to find someone with a printer to print out his reservation stuff, or he isn't going to be able to go anywhere. Hmmm. That might be a challenge.

I am still having a hard time with this. Will post a song later.

Contra dances, what was I thinking???? I don't wanna end up on the arm of some old widower who grabs me too tightly and smiles a little too much at me. Gah!!!!!!

I need to call the Bonner County extension office and see if I can scare up a fourth of an acre or so to plant my market crops on. And I need to order seeds. Um, but first, I need seed catalogs. And manure. And land to put the manure on. So, first things first.....call extension office.

Went to thrift store today after finding (or remembering anew) that running in jeans isn't such a hot idea, and got running clothes. Now I have to earn the body to put in them. Looked for a bike; nothing much there. Skis, only downhill. What is up with that, anyway? Goes without saying, there were no horses, either. ;-) Running will do for now, and it's good exercise for the dog. I still want a bike or something though, easier on the joints than pounding the pavement.

My son has a just-purchased suitcase (used) and it is sitting here empty. Resisting the urge to remind or nag....his problem.

And I need to buy dirt....to plant the date seeds, pepper seeds, and to start whatever else I want to start growing for spring transplanting. I am finding that Thai and Indian cuisines are a natural fit for the array of foods that I eat; so Thai basil should probably be one of the things I grow, and preferably in some quantity. Maybe cilantro? I wish I knew more about Filipino cooking, but there were no such books at the library and my grandma is in Illinois.....

Going to cook up some junk food (Tasty Bite entree served over jasmine rice). I know white rice is bad compared to brown, but man, I am stuck on my jasmine rice!!

I can't sleep. I have only one day left with my son, my firstborn, before I send him away to Hawaii. It seems like I should...I don't know. Despite all the conflict between us, this is going to be difficult. :-(

I need to make friends in this area. I left most of mine behind in Preist River. Just been realizing that I have almost no social life. Lots and LOTS of friendly acquaintances, very few friends. Of course, there isn't a whole lot of time for a social life anyway....but still.

:sigh: Now what? :thinking: I should see if they still have contra dances in this area. IIRC though, the closest one are in Spokane, so that's no good. The Sandpoint Arts Alliance. This is likely to fill me with insecurity and internal comparisons and inferiority crapola, but if I can manage not to do that, it would probably be good for me. Yep. That is my job for next week. Get a foot in the door at the two art organizations in town.

The dogs woke me up. I guess they had to go to the bathroom or something. :yawn:

My abnormal psychology class discussion is beginning to piss me off. These people talk about mental disorders and mental illness as though they are discussing another species. I have no idea what percentage of the population has had depression at some point in their lives (and I am too sleepy to go and look right now), but for anxiety disorder alone, 28% of the population will have had it. A sizable number of the people I meet have at least one thing that they are absolutely phobic of.

Considering *only* depression, anxiety disorder, and phobias....exactly what percentage of the population is and always has been untouched by any of these? I am guessing the number would be pretty damned low, so the cavalier attitude of "This is something that happens to other people", is totally uncalled for. The teacher is even worse, UGH!!!

It must be the food. I feel more energetic and upbeat than I have in...hell. I don't know.

If I continue to feel this good for the next several weeks, I will have to conclude that the gluten free diet does in fact have merit, at least for me. Or it could be the meat. And oddly enough, I am not having the nightmares that usually go along with meat eating, either. I am a little afraid of smelling like a carnivore, but after some consideration, this is probably more detectable to vegetarians than it is to other meat eaters. And even with other vegetarians, chances are good that their noses aren't always as sensitive as mine is.

However....thinking....even though I eat meat now, I can still detect vegetarians on the basis of scent. They don't smell yummy like they used to though, they simply smell like vegetarians. :shrug: Go figure. As long as I don't start smelling bad, it's all good.

Had a great walk/run with Brittany (Nathan's therapy dog)!

The Valley - KD Lang on the Max Sessions (2005)

This song is for Bill...and for everyone else who hurts.

I just found k.d. lang's Hymns of the 49th Parallel, at the library. I've been wanting to hear this CD for over a year! I particularly like this song. She is also wearing a haircut similar to the type I am working towards.....no thanks given to the big blond broad at Great Clips who messed my haircut up and didn't even bother to comb and style it! My hair grows quickly though...and until then, there are hats.....

Clarifying: some of the time she is wearing that haircut, the cute short bob...

I need to find something to do with my time while waiting for my kids during school. Can't afford to go back home and drive back to get them. Tired of sitting around and shopping to blow time. Went walking/running today (not very far) and that felt good. I decided that even though I don't have a horse, a bicycle, skis, or wood to split or stack, I still have my legs and shoes!! Used to run all the time; haven't since my parents restricted me from it. I don't know that running is my thing anymore, but since the list of alternatives is pretty damned short, it will have to do for now, and it certainly beats sitting around getting flabby. Some friends said something about giving me a mountain bike.....I will have to see about that. Bicycling is easier on the joints. But until then, it was nice to breathe the fresh air, see the plants and trees, to feel alive and in my body.

Tomorrow I can afford to go to class and get my hands into the clay again. Yes! I wanted to spend the winter break doing a lot of this, but instead, much of it got consumed with children and cleaning up after other people. Which is partly OK, I guess, but I still feel kind of shorted.

Oh! I got diverted; I was thinking that if I can find either a little piece of land to grow market/farm crops on (like a fourth of an acre) then I could do that on the days when I don't have to go to class but still have to be in town. Or, if I can find some kind of studio space....all it has to be is warm with access to water....then I could work on the clay and not have to worry about my work being destroyed by kids. I already applied for a job at the place I wanted to work for years....and obviously that would take precedence over th eother two options. Or...once summer comes on, I could do an apprenticeship at an orgnaic farm or market gardening operation......Nah. I don't want to be someone else's workhorse. I know how to grow things, and how to grow them well. Just need the space.

Anyway, hungry, so it must be time to blow money at a store! ;-)

Increasingly becoming aware that I am not really seeking a relationship at this time. Being alone holds no terror or panic for me. Winding up with a controlling, suffocating, or unappealing person does. I enjoy the quiet, the simplicity of being alone, and unless I find someone who has enough appeal to eclipse that, I'd rather stay this way. Moreover, I'm not especially motivated to go looking.

So the rest of what I am going to write here may seem a little contradictory, but I'll try to reconcile the two. Hmmmm. thinking....will edit.

Edited to add: Never mind. This is not an appropriate place to write such things.

First batch of tamales (all meat) is steaming as I type. As usual, I made way too much of the vegetable tamale filling. If veggie tamales sound uninspiring, here is what is in mine: peppers (ancho, pasilla, small sweet, bell, anaheim chili), green olives, black beans, cilantro, monterey jack cheese, tomatillos, and corn.

And the fractious teen is driving me nuts!!!