I wrote something about empathy and my continuing disagreement with Simon Baron-Cohen on this issue...but it was poorly written and I found that some other aspies have already delved into the subject and articulated their views on it far more eloquently than I am able to at this time. I reread some of what I wrote about 18 months ago (the other blog, for example) as well as some of my old essays and final papers from college...and it's very evident that my writing skills have deteriorated since then. It could be that, away from college, there's less intellectual stimulation. I try to read interesting, challenging books but there really is no good substitute for discourse with other people, particularly people with rich vocabularies and different perspectives. Or maybe it's other stuff, who knows, probably a combination of things. My mind just feels numb sometimes.....

At any rate, since the recent IQ test, there is solid evidence that I'm not dim witted, but there's nothing as humbling in quite the same way as reading things written by other aspies/autistics. I do not feel qualified or prepared to outdo them on this topic so here are links:

Empathy, mindblindness and theory of mind

What is empathy

On attributing consciousness

Empathy- 5 scenarios

The empathy conundrum

----------------------------------

And despite having topped the magic number (why was that so important to me?), I do feel dim by comparison. It's not nice to compare ourselves to others...nor healthy. I grew up in a family where it was all about being superior, about holding one's place, about achieving, about excellence being a foregone conclusion and an expectation, rather than a hope. And I don't feel like I'm good for anything.....I know that it isn't about finding one's place in society, it's about making that place, taking one's rightful position. But I'm lost and I don't have the strength to fight to make that place or to step up to wherever the hell it is I should be.