I shouldn't be up at this hour, but I am. Of what use are the shoulds and shouldn'ts of life when they don't mesh with reality? So- I found two more verses to 'You are my sunshine'. The goats will be happy for a little relief from the old version, methinks. While I was perusing the search results, I also ran across the chorus from an old Statler Brother's song. I used to like it when I was into country music as a teen.

Do you know, you are my sunshine
Do you know what your smile did to me
Do you know you are my sunshine
And it looks like you're always going to be.

Nice song. I went in to Newport today and spent entirely too much time trying to locate some decent music. Ben Franklin's didn't have what I wanted, they referred me to Radio Shack (which seemed dubious, and it was- NO music at all), then I found a better selection at the pawn shop, including 2 CD's that looked good- the actual CD's were different from the cases. Arrrgh! Culturally speaking, this place is pretty pathetic. The speakers aren't hooked up to the computer or there'd be a little more variety. As it is, I like the library CD of Art Garfunkle depresses me almost every time I hear it, even though it's hauntingly beautiful and I can relate to it, and the Elton John tape is great but how many times can you listen to one tape before you get sick of it??

Speaking of Elton JOhn, one of his songs has been running through my head. Here is a snippet or two of it; the lyrics for the whole song can be viewed here

Love hurts so much
Love leaves a scar
'I don't love you' is like a stake
Being driven through your heart
:snip:
I have no feelings, I have no heart
Love always cuts out the warm and tender part

I guess that subconciously, I sort of believed this. While butchering the goat the other day, I came to the part where you remove the viscera. As far as I'm concerned, organ meat is either dog food or compost material. DH doesn't agree. So as the mass of stomachs, intestines, etc were about to fall into the bucket, he quickly reached in and grabbed the liver. Yuck! Just as I was breathing a sigh of relief and about to can the rest of it, he goes in for the heart, but it wouldn't tear free; I had to hold it while he cut it loose. I was surprised by the way it felt. It was- so soft, so tender and vulnerable, sort of squishy. I felt a sort of sympathy for the heart; somehow it seemed to deserve more respect than the brutal way it was being rippped out of the chest cavity. The texture and softness of that heart haunted me for the next few days, because for some irrational reason, I hadn't expected it to be soft. I thought it'd be, well you know- firmer, harder, sort of like a leathery football. That's how I've always thought of my own heart, as having a sort of shell or crust around it. After all, when emotional crap comes up, it does feel like stabbing/breaking. But contrary to the song, the sensation and actual state of the organ apparently don't have much correlation. Ack, I'm finally getting tired and not making a whole lot of sense, I fear.