I'm really starting to have a hard time with this job (deli). It isn't the work so much, though the combination of multi-tasking, people, and stress/time pressure is a little overwhelming. It's the woman I work with. I can't stand her. She never missses a chance to cut me down, to act condescending, to criticize or hurry me, or to make me feel small and insignificant. I'm rapidly approaching the threshold of hatred.... If there is a job I enjoy or like, she makes sure I don't get to do it, and leaves me the hard, dirty work, whatever she doesn't especially want to do, particularly washing our the grease encrusted metal pans from the hot case (these are what the deep fried foods sit in all day long and drip grease into- fun, fun, fun...) There are still occasionally things I don't know yet, things I haven't done. If I ask her a question, she acts as though I'm just the stupidest child she ever set eyes on and says she already told me, gets all impatient and put out. Never mind that she *didn't* ever tell me- she insists that she did. There is a checklist of tasks to perform before closing each night, and spaces to fill in with the initials of who did them. She does a lot of small things, so her name is all over the place. The more time consuming tasks each have just one space even though they're three times as hard. Also, there is no space for cooking or waiting on the customers, both of which increasingly fall to me, unless she wants me to do something harder at the time- then she shoos me away from waiting on the people and does it herself. This means that I can bread and cook enough chicken to feed an army, and have only one space- 'bread chicken' checked off with my name. And the worst part of it all is that she does all these things in such a subtle, domineering way that I am at a loss as to how to defend myself against her. Every night, I get mad, feel distraught, get angrier because she was able to make me upset, and fume and throw clean dishes into the rinsing sinks, trying to think of some way to get her, or to quit, or whatever. She's as plump as a fat hen. She's got plenty of food. She doesn't know what it is to be dizzy from not having eaten much of anything and still working your tail off. I do get confused occasionally, I'm lightheaded, for crying out loud... I mean, goddammit, can't she cut me some slack for a change??? Oddly enough, the deli food hardly tempts me, but it's hell to have to throw away the heels of the meat that's left after slicing it. If I could get away with it....man, it's a waste. If I make a mistake, she acts as though it's what she expected. If I do something right, she says, "There! You see! That's what I've been telling you all along. You *finally* figured it out." And that is another thing- she's forever acting as though I'm an idiot simply because I don't do well with verbal directions. If I ask again to make sure I heard it right, she huffs her breath out, puts hand on hip, and generally looks like she'd slap me if she could get away with it. I hate this....I hate it hate it hate it....and there is only one reason I'm doing it at all, because it's really the only thing for me left to do....

I do fine with any of the other people, any of them. If I thought I could do so without her getting wind of it, I'd ask the supervisors to not have me work with her alone anymore. She's quite a bit different in the presence of the others. Oh- the final straw- she's only been there a week or two longer than myself. She *isn't* my supervisor. She actually has little or no real authority over me. The bossiness is a total sham, but I don't know what to do about it.

I hate working with women. It never works. I want to be a box boy.... :-( Women are a pain. They're underhanded, they...they work in ways I can't quite comprehend. It's infuriating. Men aren't like that- most of them aren't. Most guys are pretty much above the pettiness in my experience. That isn't to say they can't be cruel, but it is different. I totally do not understand the way most women operate. A few people have suggested I should get a female roommate. I just go... ha. ha. ha. Uh-uh... No way. Noooo sireee. That is _not_ gonna happen. Don't want no females a-tellin' me what to do on mah own turf, no, suh....