Thursday, February 09, 2012

I need to get some goats. I am not kidding (haha).

Every time I've been broken before, I had the goats to lean on (literally), their animal warmth to snuggle up to, their patient ears to talk to...and goats don't tell secrets or lies and they don't judge, either. They just listen and look at you wisely or as if waiting to hear more. It is pathetic to admit, but I do not know if I can get through this without them.

What does one call it, heart, soul, mind, psyche? Whatever it is, that thing inside that hurts and feels and holds everything feels like it has osteoporosis, like the interstices are growing ever thinner, ever more likely to crumble. I don't have anything to feed it, to build it back up again, to reinforce the weak spots.

There are only these judgmental people telling me how pathetic I am and that it's wrong for me to feel the way I do and god, I hate their trying to impose their narrow minded morality on my feelings. Not all of them...there are a couple of exceptions....but mostly. It's not their place to tell me how to feel, particularly when I never asked them. I hate to say this, but why can't people be a little more like animals sometimes??

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