Sad. I will keep swimming, swimming, struggling...upstream. But what assurance do I have that when the end of this time has elapsed, I will not find myself confronted with the cold, unbreachable wall of a dam? I don't. There's not really any hope and I am exhausted already....but still, I must swim on, because what else is there to do?

But even when things are very dark, when I feel broken, I think of some of the funny things you've said and can't help laughing or at least smiling.