I am so stupid!! Who else misses a person for days and for weeks and would give anything just to see their face and then gets all scared and freaked out when they finally do see that person? Seriously, only I do this kind of stuff. :-/

But I can't take it. I can't bear to look at your back walking away from me week after week, month after month. When I see that, I see all the other backs that've walked away from me and the pain screams into me like a freight train. My mom, Daniel Haugen, people I thought were friends, who said they were friends and weren't, others. Backs, backs, backs....walking away. And I want to scream with all my might and I can't, I want to play screaming loud music, but suddenly nothing is loud enough, nothing screams hard enough. And people always tell me not to take it personally, but they're lying to me, and this is how I know it: how can so many silent backs turned to one person possibly be wrong?