What I have to do is to try to stop getting all depressed about this stuff and redirect my attention to getting my life back on track. My mind is so ingrained in all the same old negative patterns that it's entirely too easy to go and transfer all of that shit to situations where they might not even apply. And then I go and say that you hate me. That's BS.

This is not an easy situation, but I know that you don't hate me, that you don't despise me, and that you're a reasonable person.

So for now, my job in life is to turn away from the pain and to try as hard as I can to get back to my feet and start living a functional life.