OK, this is going to be my third attempt on this topic.

Celibacy. It's where I'm at right now and have been for some time.

Not for the usual reasons. I don't buy into the whole shame, guilt, etc stuff about sex. I could find people that I both know and like to fool around with if I wanted to. And, not for the lack of drive or interest, either.

However.

I have come to feel that sex should be something deeper, something truer, than that. That it should be spiritual (and here we could go into a pleasant discussion of tantra), an intimacy beyond flesh and skin, a communing of souls.

Perhaps I am expecting too much, because in all honesty, I haven't actually experienced this before. But I can feel that it's possible....and people write about it (tantra again) so.....

Maybe it's strange for an agnostic Quaker who can only envision god in the laws of nature, etc to be talking about sex as a spiritual experience that should be kept.....well, holy is not the right word for what I want to express. Maybe sacred would work, if divorced from any sort of religious context.

It's strange and nice though: the longer I am alone, the more at peace I am with it, and the more committed I become to not settling for just screwing around.

Probably I should go to bed now...