I am so stressed. It all seems so insurmountable and beyond hope sometimes. People say that I'm so smart that I can do whatever I want...they don't understand that brains aren't everything. I feel so useless, so powerless in the face of circumstances.

But I stop and think of you, of a thousand fleeting memories, of things that I loved about you. And somehow that makes me feel stronger. Makes no sense, but it's true.

I don't even know if you like me. Maybe you dread the sight of me. Maybe I'll never know one way or the other. Still the thought of you is like a fire within me that warms me when I feel so cold, so afraid, so unsure. I think of you and breathe...and I take another step.