I just hope that someday, I'll be able to make sense of this. I know, I should forget about it and not think about it, not think about you, anymore...that's what people say. I am not capable of that and can't quite comprehend how they are.

There is something...I don't even know how to put it and am not sure it would make sense if I did because in my mind, it is mostly in visual form, but I will try. Yes, I hurt, but I hurt because I am vulnerable, and I am vulnerable because I felt close to you..and in some irrational way, I'm not sure I'd trade the pain away if the cost was to forget about you, to have my heart turn cold and remote and untouchable.