Monday, December 12, 2011

I got a lot done today....(used a list!)...except for the phone calls. Oh, how I dread making phone calls. And there are at least four of them. So, I guess that's my task for tomorrow before I go to work.

The Blue-Faced Leicester wool is spinning up really nicely. It's soft with a very long staple. I found some Icelandic wool so that'll be next.

And I need to make another hat because my hair looks all puffy and inelegant. Why was I growing it out again??? I'll give it a chance through the winter at least, I guess.....

I don't know what to think about anything anymore. I'm so scared. I wish that some incredibly wise person could come and help me make sense of things, to find peace and insight, to be able to forgive myself. I'm so tired of being afraid, of feeling like I have a million hypersensitive hairs or antennae probing the air for any faint hint of a new onslaught of pain.

I never wanted to cause so much trouble. I'm so sorry. And if I knew the right thing to do right now, I'd do it....but...I don't is so confusing and last week hurt too much to endure more of that. I guess I'll just keep trying to get back on track and to be as unobtrusive as I can be.

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