There aren't words for how I feel right now. I guess if I painted a picture of it, there would be an awful lot of black. It's bottomless and the sides are so slippery that I can't get out. There are nameless horrors in the darkness.

And the worst thing is, other people don't see the blackness and they don't want to hear about it either, except for the helpful few who tell me that I have got to keep trying to climb out. It's all around me, they don't see it, and I have got to pretend that all is well with green pastures and sunshine, which is the reality they talk about. And I'm so scared and I feel so dirty with all this slimy black stuff on me....they don't see it, but you do and it's nasty horrible disgusting awful untouchable unlookable so you turn away.