Whatever....I don't know if it's true or not and right now it's not possible for me to know. What I do know is that my feelings for you have only deepened and aren't going away anytime soon, if ever, so either way nothing is changing on this side.

And in any case I still have to try to get back on my feet and get my act together here, have to come up with some sort of a plan for my life. There isn't really any point in agonizing over the veracity of what a child says if it was something that would have been better. :-/ I guess I wouldn't be beating myself up half as much if it were true, but....I'm so tired of hurting and yet I've grown used to it. It's just the way things are.

I talked to my manager at work and in all honesty, am not sure that was an intelligent thing to do. Will see i guess.