Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Found the phone. At last. The mysterious strand of rectangular beads- agates.

And I just realized something: when I went on meds, it wasn't because I was depressed. I was because I could not pass my college algebra class or the Chem 111 (a 5 credit class!) and had even been having trouble with the memorization aspects of General Botany (was disappointed with the B I got, despite having been out for a month during that semester due to major surgery). I was having trouble with focusing, with my short term memory and with juggling a full course load of hard sciences, parenting 6 kids, commuting daily, and living with a bipolar boyfriend who usually woke me up by screaming at me for no particular reason.

The doctor said that having trouble focusing was a symptom of depression, so he put me on an anti-depressant. I was wanting to be evaluated for ADD, but that did not happen, and I did not stand up for myself.

And look where that has gotten me. :-/

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You are a very ungrateful person, considering all the times I woke you up with a latte served in your bed, house picked up and dishes done all before the family even woke up. Maybe you should focus on all the good things I did for your family, how tired I was from relating to someone who does not have empathy, the endless psr workers, counselors, family coordinators, guardians, ex boyfriend stalkers, threats to my life and Kleber. Not to mention endless doctor and dentist appointments. Homeschooling your teen boys. One of which did so well he skipped a grade. Two nasty custody lawsuits, and your hysterectemy. All your car accidents.

Think of the toll of all of that to me instead of only yourself, including my cumulative lack of sleep, the financial, emotional and physical toll, from you staying up late at night playing farmville, your not wanting to go to couples counseling to deal with issues you did not want to resolve. You need to learn to forgive.

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